The Right Relationship is Everything

Ashwin is an IT professional working for a Financial Exchange company in Chicago. His interests include reading, sports, music and outdoor activities. He lives in Naperville with his wife and daughter.

The connotations of the word relationship conjures likely images of couples bonded in a marital bliss (or possibly in a lack thereof), or those living together outside of marriage. Undoubtedly, pressing contemporary issues, confine relationships within such notional boundaries that we run the risk of missing the forest for the trees, relationships transcend any such conventional norms.

Relationships refer to how a person relates to another; it can be parental, filial, spousal, between siblings or friends, or at a workplace with your colleagues and so on. Shakespeare was right on the money in his play “As you like it” – all the world is a stage, and all the men and women are merely players enacting their different roles. We will be remembered by others on our interactions with them. During the course of our life, we also traverse through these stages, interweaving the various roles ,and ,forming relationships at different times – be that of a son, daughter, father, mother, brother, sister, husband, wife, friend, parent and so on …often embodying multiple roles simultaneously. A father interacting with his kid at one instant, only to be reminded that he himself is also a kid in the eyes of his own parents. This transition from one role to another is seamless and comes so naturally devoid of any theatrical inputs – it is unscripted, real and in the moment. Each of these roles or relationships share and occupy a special and an important space in our life. It is a fairly impossible task to try and justify the importance or the subordination of any one of these relationships over the other. The fact is we tend to get so caught up with the immediacy and exigency of the present that we render ourselves culpable of conveniently glossing over the past. The passage of time shifts our priorities, responsibilities and perspective constraining our actions driven by convenience and practicality of the hour. Understandably in today’s rat race let us not reduce ourselves to, as I am reminded of someone who put it very rightly that even if we come first we still remain a rat. There is no denying, that, today we are all rushed for time ,dictated by our work life schedules, pervasiveness of technology and of course as a participant in the rat race, we are starved for quality time together. Applicable to most, the majority of our time on any given day is spent at the workplace or outside of home, so it is the relationships on the home front that generally become the first casualty, leading to martial differences, lack of rapport with the kids often leading to unpleasant situations. Relationships need quality time to nourish, build and flourish and more often we are caught wanting or trying to balance and fulfill too many commitments at the expense of family time. Relationship building begins at home and needs investment in time to make it grow stronger. This allows for no compromises or workarounds to it.

So what are some of the essential building blocks to a successful relationship?

Love is the indispensable ingredient and at the core of all relationship. Expression and display of love may vary between individuals but the heart of the matter is in its truth and sincerity.

Trust – Total belief and acceptance, exposing oneself to unquestioning vulnerability. It is a delicate thread that binds a relationship, used wisely will bond it even stronger, however if used unwisely can break it as easily.

Sacrifice – Seeking satisfaction in the happiness of the other person guided by selfless motive.

Respect – It is the mutual respect for one another that makes a relationship strong. At no point should any relationship be taken for granted. Relationships need frequent revisiting and rekindling so that it does not go stale.

Time – Building relationships need time, more time and even more time, this cannot be stressed enough. Relationships are not built overnight – more investment in time gives greater dividend.

In today’s world of quick fix solutions and instant gratification the above may sound like lofty ideals but true relationships are invaluable and unparalleled assets. Relationships are personal assets to be treasured and unlike most other assets do not depreciate with time, instead enriches itself and grows even stronger. It is like your home, a place of warmth, security and refuge that will always welcome you no matter what.