4 out of 10 women are the breadwinners

A Pew Research Center report out today says 40% of American households with children under 18 now have mothers who are the sole or primary breadwinners — a record, and a dramatic jump from 11% in 1960. Stay-at-home dads are more common now. Even though it's hard to let go of the stereotypical image of the man bringing the money home while the woman takes care of the children and family — it is now a reality. (Marketplace, Christian Post)

But the numbers have a split personality. About 5.1 million of these breadwinner moms (37%) are married women who simply out-earn their husbands — college-educated, median family income near $80,000. The other 8.6 million (63%) are single mothers, with a median family income of just $23,000 a year. Same headline, very different lives.

Most women want to be more than just "moms."

People often believe that stay-at-home moms are better for raising children, but they forget the fact that women first are individuals and then wives/moms. It is inherent in every individual to find — to make — their own identity. And whether we choose to believe it or not, work forms a huge part of a person's identity. Work gives a fruitful meaning to life.

Have you ever come across a woman who wants to do something? Something more than just looking after the house and children. Yes — I know the answer is yes. Every day I come across a woman friend, 30 or 50, who wants to do something — something that will define her. Very few women are just happy being moms. I'm not saying there isn't a woman who just wants to raise children — of course there are plenty — but reasons to just raise children are probably that they believe they cannot find a job worthy of them, and so they choose not to. That's not a good reason to not work. Everybody has to start somewhere, and I think each woman should take the step to find work that she enjoys.

Most stay-at-home moms I meet are often lunching with friends, engaging in endless gossip, and wandering the malls looking for something they already have in their closet! I'm talking about those women here who do not need to work for money. Even these women should find something to do. They should start volunteering in their local schools, find a cause to make society better, or even try to find work in a store they love — but spending their time just shopping or gossiping is a total waste of human talent.

Primary bread earners or partial bread earners — working, and not just looking after the children and the house, is overall good for women, their children, and their homes. Economically it always makes sense for women to work. And in most cases, if a woman can put in a few hours of her day to some kind of work separate from the household work, it also gives her a better sense of being.

This piece was originally written for Thoughtful India by Suchitra Sharma.