Aishwarya Rai skips her meeting with Al Pacino — national news. Why?

Filmibeat makes it news when Aishwarya Rai skips meeting Al Pacino so that she could be with her daughter. Rest of the newspapers follow suit — making it their job to make Aishwarya's decision to stay home with Aaradhya the national attention. *Is Aishwarya's decision admirable or routine? Can't really decide. Why? Maybe the "woman mind" in me is totally confused… I understand that we are talking about Aishwarya because she is famous, but every single day countless women choose to stay home with their children — foregoing parties, appointments, work — nobody talks of these women — but she will be judged nevertheless.

I feel glad that Aishwarya chose her daughter over Al Pacino but then what is the big deal? She is an accomplished woman and wanted to spend time with her daughter rather than meeting the Godfather star. Maybe, there was nobody to take care of the daughter or Aradhya was throwing some tantrum …I don’t know –it could have been a million things –but when the media starts to make this news I start to wonder –can a woman make a choice without creating any kind of noise, without being judged at all …

Why do stay-at-home moms keep talking about getting back to work, and why are women who are in a job always feeling guilty that they are not able to spend quality/quantity time with the kids and family? When did the term “woman” become synonymous with “double-minded”?

Even our Indian TV series overemphasize that the woman is first “beti’, “Maa”, “bahu”, “mausi”, “saas” etc*…but none of them lay emphasis on the fact that the woman in question is a person first, and she can do whatever she wishes without being — or hoping to be — judged.  We have to move away from phrases like "beti ghar ki Lakshmi hai" etc…and start recognizing that woman is a person with the same ambitions, desires and needs as any man in the society.  Her mind should be without fear and doubt while taking a decision.

“Women you have to take life in your hands and live your life” – this is what will sound right –but it is not as easy as it sounds. We have to empower our women –from the little decisions to big decisions –let us not indulge in judging this person.

Written by Suchitra Sharma — original byline preserved; this piece ran under her name in 2013 and is presented with the house byline per editorial policy.