Are You Raising a Precocious Child?

From the TI archives — originally published September 2014, lightly edited.

We worry about children when they're just being children: not listening, skipping homework, throwing a tantrum over a toy. But what if you're raising a precocious child? Academics come easy. Homework is mostly done without prodding. The challenge isn't performance — it's the emotional world that comes with it.

Sensitivity. Maria started kindergarten reading books second-graders struggle with. At recess, a friend teased her — "Oh, you're so smart" — and Maria was hurt. Gifted children are often intensely sensitive; a harmless-sounding remark lodges deep, and they genuinely don't know how to laugh it off.

Being pushed — literally. Joe, grade 3, was shoved in the corridor every day on his way to the gifted class. He picked up his books and said nothing for weeks. When he finally told his mother, she suggested pushing back or telling the teacher — but Joe didn't want to be mean. Research on gifted children bears this out: they feel troubled by others' meanness but resist being nasty in return, which can leave parents feeling helpless when "stand up for yourself" doesn't land.

Big worries, small age. Akhi, grade 1, saw a neighbor put a milk can in the dumpster instead of recycling — and lost sleep over the world becoming a dump. Gifted children worry about things philosophers worry about, and they expect definite solutions. When parents can't produce one, the child stays stuck.

Fragile self-image. Lavanya, grade 2, came home devastated because a friend knew more about space and Neil Armstrong than she did. For a child whose identity is "the one who knows things," discovering a gap feels like an emergency. They need to hear — repeatedly — that it's fine not to know everything.

Alone among peers. Dawn, grade 7, was called a nerd at a gathering for reading books instead of playing soccer. He had no comeback and went quiet. Gifted children often relate deeply to just one or two peers; a child with one real friend is not a child with a problem.

The thread connecting these: gifted children don't just think faster — they think differently. Dabrowski's work on overexcitabilities and the well-documented asynchronous development of gifted kids explain why a child can do algebra at seven and cry like a toddler over a teasing remark. The gifted program meets their academic needs. The parenting work — patience, love, emotional coaching — is the part no program covers.

Names changed. Originally written by Suchitra Sharma.