Is monogamy a myth?

The Times of India reported in June 2013 on an Indian Army study that linked the denial of regular leave to extramarital affairs among troops — jawans and officers alike. It is a punishable offense in the army to have illicit romantic or sexual relations outside of marriage. Apparently, keeping soldiers connected to home is not just a morale question.

There has been a recent surge in extramarital relationships, especially in the IT crowd living in Bangalore. About a decade ago, there were just a handful of detective agencies devoted to finding cheating spouses; now there are many in Bangalore. That rise in demand says something. What happens in a marriage that leads to this? Is it because the husbands are traveling for long periods? Or is it because couples have generally become so busy with their work and their own schedules that they hardly do any activities together?

Most studies on the subject would have at least 60% of people saying monogamy is ideal for marriage. However, a belief in monogamy hasn't prevented folks from indulging in relationships outside marriage. Almost all popular TV shows are filled with extramarital affairs — yes, it adds an interesting angle, multiple dimensions to the story, and maybe it also affects the subconscious of the people watching it. In spite of knowing that relationships outside of marriage are bad for kids and careers, people indulge in them anyway. In the IT crowd of India, it has become so commonplace that nobody — not even the couple in question — is ever shocked by an extramarital affair.

Is monogamy just a myth — something people believe but don't practice?

This piece was originally written for Thoughtful India by Suchitra Sharma.